Life, Law, Gender

Happy Birthday, Jami!

Today is my very dear friend's 60th birthday.  60.  Can you believe that shit?  Wow.  I mean 60.  I thought it was a big deal when I turned 50 (ONLY 3 years ago!) but she is SIXTY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMI!

If you have a moment, stop on over at her place (but, don't take her word for it -- she really is THAT different!) and send your condolences best wishes for a wonderful year.  She truly deserves it.

Birthday presents

I am the luckiest person I know.  I am going take a small tangent here and elaborate on that. My Girl asserts that she is the luckiest, by virtue of her having found me.  I'll grant you that she's lucky.  However, to resolve this dispute we decided that the people who know us best would be in the best position to say who got the better bargain.  So, we agreed that my mother and my daughters would be the judges (this was a couple of years ago, even before we were married).  She agreed to this!  As I knew they would, they ruled -- after we each presented our cases as to why we thought we were the luckiest -- that I was, in fact, that person.  I assert that it's like binding arbritation and not subject to appeal.  Nevertheless, she continues to protest.  ::sigh:: Have you ever been married to a lawyer?  It can be difficult. LOL!

Anyway, rather than drag you through the whole long story, I'll just tell you that I got to lobby as part of my birthday.  As you can see from my prior post, I was in DC the past couple of days.  I lobbied Congress as part of the Servicemembers' Legal Defense Network's annual Lobby Day for the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  I got assigned to a team of lobbyists that included a recently retired Major General and a retired Command Master Chief Petty Officer. I was the most experienced lobbyist in the group, however, and I really enjoyed myself and I really think we helped nudge the effort forward incrementally.

I spent the first night in a hotel just across the street from the apartment I lived in while I was working for SLDN. Then, I had dinner and spent the night with the Girl's brother and sister-in-law the second night.  What sweet, lovely people they are.  The next day, yesterday, was my birthday and I spent it with a small group of first-time lobbyists. It was a nice birthday present for me to be there.  I had a great time. 

I got home last night early enough for a late dinner and presents opening.  Among my presents were a new digital camera, a brand new Wii, a ten pack of movie DVDs (I love and collect movies), a new Rainbow Law Center shirt, and a new Tigers baseball cap.  On my computer, I got e-cards from my sister and my sweetheart and a dozen or so e-mails or other e-birthday wishes (Facebook is a cool way to remember someone's birthday and jot them a wish). I even got a phone call from my youngest daughter.  All in all, a delightful birthday.

As I said, I'm the luckiest person I know.

Trip Report

So much to report, so little time and space.  After 15 days and nights away from home (and away from a high speed internet connection; I'm so spoiled and addicted) we're home.  It has been an extraordinarily trying and emotional time.

We stopped in Lexington on the way to Florida and visited with my youngest.  She turned 21 the following week.  I know everyone is tired of my saying how proud I am of her, so I'll simply wish her Happy Birthday. 

We also stopped in Tennessee and met, for the first time, a long-time blog reader, Sally.  Sally is an older transgender woman just beginning her transition.  She is in her upper 70s and has been on hormones for a few months now.  It was a delight to meet with her.  Sally, I look forward to continuing reports and I really appreciated your meeting with my Girl and me.  And, thanks again for lunch.

Two days later, after a fun, cold, and I'm sure soon-to-be picturesque detour through the Smokies, we arrived in Spring Hill Florida to visit my mom and step-dad.  I was at once heartened and dismayed to see Mom.  I think our presence there helped lift her spirits and perhaps even her health.  Her appetitite returned temporarily.  But, it was short-lived.  We stayed through last Saturday (a week ago) and then began the journey home.

Along the way, we stopped in to see the Girl's dad, my first introduction.  He was very nice to me and seemed to accept me with no questions.  As we left, he hugged me and said: "Take good care of my little girl".  So, now I've met all of her immediate family.  I like them all, and I am pretty sure they all like me (when we got home, I had a birthday card from her mom, addressed to "My daughter Denise").

We headed home through Nashville where we stayed overnight and went to see our Detroit RedWings handily beat the number one Predators (and they beat them again the next night, taking over the number one slot in both our division and in the NHL).  It was a lot of fun as we were dressed in our Wings shirts amidst all the Predators fans.

The next morning, as we continued north, we learned that my mom had taken a serious turn for the worse.  After pulling over in the first rest stop in Kentucky we pulled out the laptop (using a Cingular Wireless card) and looked up flights back.  Basically, none of them got us in before the next morning.  So, we turned the car around and drove back to Florida, arriving at 1:30 in the morning after 14 hours in the car.

We stayed another two days, as Mom showed signs of (physical) improvement.  She has lost her will to live and would gladly accept an injection that would put her out of her pain and misery.  At this point, I think I'd personally administer it.  Why do we allow people, with terminal illnesses, to suffer like this if they don't want to keep fighting?  The last day we were there my Girl and I went to breakfast and I simply could no longer maintain.  I sobbed through breakfast, right in the middle of the restaurant. 

I have never left anything unsaid between my mother and me.  She knows how I feel and what I think (about everything!); I know the same about her.  Nevertheless, the thought of a "final" conversation with her was more than I could bear.  How can I not have her to call any longer?  She has always been the first person I turned to when I had news (good or bad) to share.  Still, I wanted to have that conversation.  I wanted, once again, to tell her how much I love her and how much I appreciate the life she's given me. I didn't get that chance this trip.  When we got to the hospital, visiting hours were nearly over, and she was surrounded by people.  I hope I get one more chance.

Two more long days in the car and we got home about midnight last night.  My sister, still in Florida, called to say that Mom is out of Intensive Care and in a regular ward.  I don't know how much more of this she can take.  I don't know how much more I can take.

Comments, comments! It's my birthday for cryin' out loud!

This post is a blatant call for comments.  Please!  I need comments to validate my existence here.  Are you listening? ::grin::

Today, I am 52.  Yesterday, I was 50.  The day before that I started law school and the day before that my 24 plus year old first child was born.  That's it.  4 days.  With the seriously notable exception of watching my mom get progressively worse, I'm am in love with my life.  I don't want it to go racing by, but it sure seems to be.

Last week, during the bar exam, I was standing in the hallway with some UMich Law grads and former classmates and we were talking about who sits for the February bar exam.  One of the guys in the group made a comment about all the older folks who where there and probably did law school part-time or something.  I just looked at him and made some comment about generalizing about "older folks".  He looked at me, surprised, then laughed and said "Well, not you!  You're one of us.  Ever since softball, you don't count as older."  Several minutes later, he asked what time it was (concerned if we needed to get back in to start on the final 3 hours of our torture session).  I chuckled as I put on my reading glasses to be able to see my watch and he laughed out loud and just said "Softball". 

You're as old as you feel.  Me?  I'm 35.

[UPDATE]  My girl got us tickets to go watch the Tigers play spring training baseball in Lakeland.  It was so much fun.  I can't believe how much I love this game.  How did I miss out on the fun this is for all these years?  In addition, she got me a very cool, authentic Tigers jersey with my name on the back.  She rocks.  This was, easily, the best day of the trip.

Happy Birthday, Augie!

Happy Birthday to the best step-dad in the history of step-dads! :)

We love you, Augie!

Happy 75th, Mom!

Today, my mother turns 75! 

Happy Birthday, Mom!!!

We love you.

Last weekend, my two sisters, my youngest daughter, my spouse and I all flew into Tampa airport and descended upon my mom for a surprise birthday party. Plus, my middle daughter and her fiancé came up to join the party.  You should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless. 

I've told you before, but I'll tell you again:  You're the greatest, Mom.  The absolute greatest.

Happy Birthday, Barb!

My baby sister is 47 today!  Happy Birthday!  I'll see you in just under one month!

Happy Birthday, Jami!

Drop by Not THAT Different and wish my good friend Jami a happy birthday.  She's __ years old (I don't have her permission to tell and I understand that once you reach a certain milestone it's customary to begin counting backwards, which would only make her 55 or so, so I had to leave that space blank).  (Update -- I just learned that it *is* ok to say that she's the same age as dirt)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMI!

Happy Birthday, Melody

Happy Birthday to my middle kiddle, Melody.  She's 22 today.  What a treasure she is.  I look forward to seeing her!

Also, happy birthday to my German friend!  I miss you.

Happy Birthday, Debbie!

Happy birthday to my younger sister, Debbie!  I wish I were there to help you celebrate, but know that I'm with you in spirit.  I love you.

How could you do this to me?

I've posted much about Amanda recently.  Well, here's another one -- she is 20 years old today.  20.  As in not a teenager anymore.  Excuse me?  I was just getting used to the idea that my kids were old enough to be called teenagers and now they're too old?

There is so much to know about Amanda and you can read more about her at her blog, or in my birthday post to her last year, or in sporadic comments throughout my blog.  But to really know her -- to have her in your life -- is a gift beyond description.  If there is such a thing as an "old soul", Amanda is it.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!!!!

Happy 23

Happy Birthday, Jennifer!  I love you.

Happy Birthday, Shanna & Marcus

Today is my niece’s birthday.  I sent her a card but she won’t get it for another couple of days.  I’m a terrible aunt.

Happy Birthday to Shanna and to my nephew Marcus (last month).  These are my younger sister’s children and they are amazing kids.  I last saw them in May and I miss them.

Melody = Majority

Wow.  How does a parent tell a child how very proud she is of her and not sound just like another ... well, proud parent? 

Melody is 21 years old today.  She is so special and I love her so very much. Melody is truly her own person.  She has characteristics of both parents (though I think she looks (and often behaves!) more like me). She challenges herself at every turn to do the right thing, to stretch herself, to better herself.  She has risen to the challenge every single time. She is our middle child and has alternately enjoyed and hated that fact.

In her own words:

I'm a Senior at the University of South Florida.  I'm majoring in anthropology, which is quite a change from my previous major which was Secondary Math Education.

I love reading, chess, making jewelry, and attending SCA events (Society for Creative Anachronism).  If I have the time this semester between school and work I will be joining fighter practice every Sunday to learn the not-so-gentle art of sword fighting.  I also love to roleplay and have been known to join in a game of Dungeons and Dragons every now and again.

Now, how can you NOT just love that?  The woman loves life.  In that regard, she could not be more MY daughter! :)

For her 21st birthday, I gave her this (this is something that neither of her parents would do; I told you she is her own person).  And, as much as I love you, Honey, the next game of chess we play -- you're going DOWN!

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, MELODY!!!!

Happy Birthday, my sister!

Like all sisters, Debbie and I have had our good times and our difficult times.  But, she is just the very best.  Growing up as the middle child (I am the eldest), I'm sure she often felt isolated as our youngest sister and I would gang up on her.  But she grew up into a wonderful, loving, hard-working, intelligent, and beautiful woman. 

After some initial difficulties with my transition, she has turned into one of my biggest supporters.  She took it upon herself to research transgenderism and learn all she could.  I am so very proud and honored to have her for a sister.

She is a remarkable woman and an incredible mother of two outstanding children.  I love you, Debbie.  Happy Birthday.