Are there really people like this? Can this be a serious question? From today's Arizona Daily Star:
DEAR ABBY: I recently met a gorgeous woman I'll call "Giselle." After we had dated for a couple of months and became physically involved, she told me she had had gender reassignment surgery and used to be a man! I was, to say the least, shocked and deeply disturbed.
I did not punch out Giselle as I would have liked to - which brings me to my question. What is the etiquette regarding physically confronting someone like that? Is it the same as hitting a girl? We're roughly the same size. - Distressed in Virginia
Aside from the obvious absurdity of the question, several things occur to me in reading this. First, of course, is the deep-seated hate and fear that we, as transsexuals, seem to engender in people. He was "to say the least" shocked -- and! -- "deeply disturbed". Yeah, he's disturbed, all right. Notice how he feels compelled to start off his question by telling everyone how "gorgeous" she was. And, my god, he was attracted to her! And, he liked her so much -- presumably her personality and apparently her other attributes as they had become "physically involved" -- that he dated her for several months. Why does he tell us all this? Why is this important? Couldn't his question have been phrased simply: "I went out with someone who I found out was a transsexual and I really wanted to hit [her]"? But, he felt compelled to tell us that he had been "fooled" because, heaven knows, he would never willing go out with a man, or anyone who had such a history!
We have built such fear into our culture. This guy is pathetic, but he's a product of his times. I feel sorry for us.
Abby's response:
DEAR DISTRESSED: Because Giselle is now a female, it would, indeed, have been the same as hitting a girl, and I'm glad you restrained yourself. I have a feeling that she was probably more hurt that you stopped seeing her than any physical blow you might have inflicted.
As to the "etiquette" regarding hitting her, if you hit someone of either gender, it is assault and battery - or possibly worse - and it's a crime that can land you in jail.
My response: You're a homophobic and transphobic idiot; get a life.
[UPDATE] Well, perhaps he's just a homophobic idiot, because at least according to "Bitch Boy" from the Washington Blade, he was at serious risk of being gay:
To the male in love with a transgender person: If you make love to a non-op male-to-female transgender man for his penis, you are gay. If you make love to a transsexual who intends on surgery and hates what she was born with, you are straight.
Bitch Boy responds: Thank the goddess someone referenced Webster’s Dictionary of Transgender Dating.
If you think a guy being with a transgender woman is not being gay, hello? They were once a man, and that makes the boyfriend gay.
I guess that makes my spouse a straight woman and not a lesbian, then. Poor thing. I doubt she'll ever recover.