Sorry for the inactivity of this past week. It’s been busy.
As I said in comments, the trip to St. Louis was good. It wasn’t my dream scenario – where we sit down with her mom and explain the facts of life and she jumps for joy to welcome me into her daughter’s life and expresses relief that The Girl finally came clean with her sexual orientation – but it was nice nonetheless.
Her brother comes to visit this weekend. This will be a bigger test. He is a born-again Christian but one who adores his little sister. Whenever he would come to visit The Girl and her previous partner The Girl and she would sleep in different bedrooms. We’re not going to do that.
My sweetheart’s relationship with her family, vis-à-vis her orientation, reminds me how incredibly fortunate I’ve been in my life. I came out in my late 30s – to everyone in my life. And, my eldest daughter notwithstanding (and that situation, I still firmly believe, is temporary), I have had no negative familial reactions. My family has continued to love and accept me for who I am. There was a brief time when my sisters didn’t fully grasp the meaning of my transgenderism and it caused a bump in the road when my dad died and they wanted me to attend the funeral dressed as a man, but by and large I’ve had it really easy. I have no doubt of my parents, siblings and children’s love and devotion toward me.
This is not to say that The Girl’s relationship with her family is greatly different; indeed, it might be just the same if they were given the complete opportunity to know. It’s just that there is enough hesitation in her that she has to give it thought and some concern. I will continue to hope that she finds the right balance with everyone in her family (including her step-dad, about whom she is most concerned) such that she can feel comfortable inviting them to our wedding at the end of December.
Speaking of that, we took our school’s “Fall Recess” (this past Monday) and went to Windsor to look at possible wedding venues and hotels for the wedding party and meet with a wedding planner (and an attorney – in Ontario if you’ve been divorced outside of Canada you need an opinion from an attorney that such divorce would be recognized in Canada; I've been divorced). We have tentatively 
selected the Willistead Manor to hold both the ceremony and the reception following. It is a lovely historical mansion that was given to the city by its original owners and they tell us that the decorations over the holidays are spectacular. Although we are not Christian, both The Girl and I like the symbology of getting married in front of a Christmas tree – kind of like holding out the spirit of love and generosity that we associate with that time of year in our wedding and for the rest of our lives.
Finally, on a completely separate note, Saturday marks the one year anniversary of the passing of The Girl’s former (and only previous) life partner. This weighs on me greatly. I want so much for her to know that I honor her love for her former partner. I want to support her in any way that she needs me to in these next few, very difficult days. And, I would be lying if I said I weren’t also somewhat conflicted in the whole thing. I am angry at her for dying and leaving this wound in the heart of this woman I love so much.