Life, Law, Gender

Political correctness & pronouns

I guess you could say I'm a PC kinda person. I truly try to be sensitive to other people's feelings and respect the lives of people different from me. Consequently, I never engage in ethnic or racial jokes, for example. But, at the same time, I do try to not be overly sensitive with regard to myself. I can poke fun at myself and I can take fun being poked at me. Just yesterday, sitting outside awaiting our turns at oral arguments, a couple of male classmates were complaining about shaving. I listened and smiled and finally interjected "I have no idea what you're talking about." They looked at me and one of them laughed and said "No, I'm sure you changed just so you could avoid shaving!" We all laughed at that.

But, maybe I am overly sensitive about some things. For example, when Jordan initially introduced my blog on his, I was a bit taken aback by his question regarding which pronoun he should use to refer to me (since that time, my appreciation for Jordan has grown substantially and I like and respect him greatly). And, every once in a while someone - trying to be funny, I'm sure - will say something like "he/she/it" when referring to another person. That truly offends me. It has happened twice now within the past week. One came in an e-mail from an Outlaws member and the other was printed in our student newspaper. Who is an it? Are "its" people that are indistinguishable to us as to sex? What about the Intersexed? Where do they fit?

Maybe this harkens back to my youth, when my father used to derisively call any boy he saw with long hair an "it". Maybe it brings up feelings of not belonging, such as those raised recently by the Florida court in Michael Kantaras' decision. I don't know where my negative reaction to this comes from, but it is certainly there.

Tonight's debate

If I could write as well as Carey does, this is the post I would have written in anticipation of tonight's "debate".

And, if I were as expressive as Heidi, this is the post I would have written to summarize my feelings about the participants in tonight's "debate".

::deep sigh::

Oral Arguments

We had our first oral arguments yesterday. I did fairly well, but I must say that I did much worse than I expected me to do and I think my opponent argued much more clearly and with much better presence. Still, I wish that the "judge" (our instructor) had actually been forced to choose a "winner" because I still believe my arguments were, overall, better. I think both the law and the facts were on my side and that I presented them fairly well.

I did three things really poorly. First, I had not taken the time to commit my introduction to memory and, consequently, found myself having to look at my notes overmuch and taking too long pauses which became almost uncomfortable silences as I tried to figure out where I was. Second, I failed to prepare more than just the introduction and was forced to do the rest of my argument just off the top of my head on my memory of the law and facts; this also led to a couple of inappropriate silences as I had to quickly scan my brief to pick up a point to talk about. And, third, I failed to prepare a conclusion that summarized my case. And, finally, surprisingly for me since I have a great deal of experience in speaking before groups, I found that I was slightly nervous at the outset; I attribute that to the sudden realization, as I took the podium, that I was going to have to semi-read my introduction.

On the positive side, I had the facts down cold and the case law pretty well down. I gave an 8 minute argument, the other side (plaintiff) gave a 10 minute argument and then I had a 2 minute rebuttal. I thought my rebuttal (lack of summarizing conclusion notwithstanding) was outstanding (and, fortunately, so did the "judge"). I think I found the weak spot of the opposing side's argument and attacked it effectively. My introduction, aside from the occassional stutter mentioned above, was strong and contained the relevant law applied to the facts, as well as the overarching public policy that underlies the law. I responded to questions from the bench with factually accurate and legally strong arguments, which, he said later, were persuasive and directly on-point.

On balance, it was fun and I look forward to the next opportunity to do it.

Relationships and Law School

I really enjoy reading Ambib's "Blawg Wisdom". (Gosh that guy is ambitious!) But, I've never attempted to impart any "law school wisdom" as I am fairly certain that I've none to share. I'm a non-traditional student with mediocre grades; I doubt following my pattern would be good advice for any aspiring law clerk. However, as it turns out, I have one personal tidbit that is not directly related to the management of classes or papers or the like, but which does bear on the whole law school experience.

If, at all possible, get your relationship shit in order BEFORE you come to law school. I did not, and it has been a big, distracting problem for me. First, I had to deal with the whole "break-up" thing. That's hard enough and it really distracted me from my studies. But, by the end of last term, I had finally come to grips with the whole thing and recovered just in time to not fail my classes.

Now, if that wasn't bad enough, *this* term I've met someone with whom I am entirely smitten. But, alas, it is as CM said, a "hopeless crush". Nevertheless, it occupies way too much of my bandwidth. We "date" without dating; we eat together, we go drinking together, we talk until the wee hours of the morning; either on the phone or in person. This has also had an effect on my studying. So, in short, avoid relationship entanglements, if at all possible. :)

Pay Attention, Florida!!!

This is too good. Click on the photo to enlarge it. Thanks, Mike!

Legislating gender stereotypes

In Harlingen Texas a young man with a family history of cancer was forbidden by school officials from growing his hair long enough to donate it to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients, despite girls being allowed to grow their hair as long as they like.

Gerardo Garcia, Jr., 16, said he hoped to grow his hair at least 10 inches for donation to Florida-based Locks of Love. The nonprofit organization uses donated ponytails to create custom-fitted hairpieces of children suffering from medical hair loss. They provided Harlingen South High School a letter verifying that Garcia had applied to be a donor.

He said he was motivated by a family history of cancer — his great-grandmother died from lymphoma, his grandmother had breast cancer and his 11-year-old brother had a lymph node removed last year and may have to undergo a biopsy.

But Harlingen school officials said they could not compromise their dress code, which forbids boys from having hair that covers their eyes or hangs below their shoulders.

Garcia said the policy amounted to sexual discrimination because girls can grow their hair as long as the like. The board was not swayed.

“Although we commend Gerry’s efforts and his cause, we must deny his appeal,” school board member Verna Young said Tuesday.

Superintendent Linda Wade said representatives from the American Cancer Society told her they would accept Garcia as their Harlingen High School South liaison.

Garcia told the Valley Morning Star in Tuesday’s editions that it wasn’t about money.

“They just can’t see that I want to make a difference,” he said. “There are already plenty of organizations that give money.

Two weeks from Monday

Download color announcement, here.

If you can come, please do. You will not be disappointed.

T R A N S▪F O R▪U M
Transgender alumni, students, and faculty at the University of Michigan is pleased to announce

Jamison Green

Acclaimed advocate for transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual rights

7 pm Monday, October 11th 2004

Keynote Speaker
National Coming Out Day
100 Hutchins Hall, University of Michigan Law School

A gifted public speaker and writer, James Green has given voice to TLGB issues, rendering visible the transgender experience. James Green’s transgender advocacy across two decades has played a key role in shifting public discourse on transgender issues, including the recent decision by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) to fully support gender identity non-discrimination. He is board chair of Gender Education and Advocacy, a board member of the Transgender Law and Policy Institute and the Harry
Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, founder and past president of FTM International (1991-1999), and author of the acclaimed new book, Becoming A Visible Man, Vanderbilt University Press, June 2004.

Event is free and open to the public.

Questions about this event may be directed to André or Denise at transforum@umich.edu
This is event is co-sponsored by the UM Office of LGBT Affairs and by Outlaws

Support

May I impose upon you again to send your version of prayers and well wishes for the people living in Florida? Jeanne has just come ashore in the same place that Frances did. Different from Frances, this one is expected to remain as a Hurricane all the way across the state, increasing the potential for substantial destruction from winds, as opposed to "merely" flooding like we had with Frances. If you can, send the Red Cross something.

"Hurricane Jeanne tore roofs from houses and a hospital, caused widespread power outages and was expected to inflict heavy damage as it pounded Florida's east coast on Sunday, the same coastal region scarred by Hurricane Frances three weeks ago.

Jeanne carried winds of 120 mph and strong rains when it charged into the central east coast as a record fourth hurricane to hit the state in a single year."

Secrets/Double Standard

How do you handle secrets - your own and those shared by confidants?

To what extent would you go to protect a secret shared by a friend in confidence? Would you lie? I'm not talking about perjury here, just simple daily living. If for example, someone confided a harmless secret to you (harmless in your own judgement, of course) and then another person began to speculate about that secret and then asked you directly what you thought, or what you knew, would you lie to protect the secret?

What about your own secrets? Would you expect a firend, a confidant, to keep your secrets, even if they had to lie?

In my life, I've come into possession of a great many secrets; some have been personal (very!) to the teller and some have been "mere" business. As a result, I've had to think about this issue and develop my own sense of what felt right to me.

In the end, I've opted to always protect another's secret to the very best of my ability, including lying, if necessary. On the other hand, if I ever share a secret, I never hold the person I'm telling accountable if it gets out. To my way of thinking, if it were truly a secret, I would not have shared it. I assume all responsibility for its release. I may mention that I've told no one else, but I will never ask another to guard a secret for me (unless maybe it's my mother).

Anyway, just a random thought that jumped into my head as I sit here at the law school on a Saturday afternoon trying to do research for a brief due Monday, but drifting in and out from having stayed out way too late, last night (but, damn, what a great time I had!).

Please say it ain't so!

It's dark now when I get up. And chilly - usually in the low 50s. But, it warms up during the day, quite nicely (it should be in the low 80s for today's Outlaws potluck picnic this afternoon). So, I've been able to avoid thinking about that equinox thing that just occurred. It's not really fall. No, not really. It's an extended summer. It is. We won't have snow soon and freezing temperatures and dark, gloomy days. Nope. Not us.

Then, I looked out my window and saw this tree. Liar! I may have to shut my blinds.

Creative Writing

We have a brief due on Monday. Our Legal Practice professor told us that in this brief (an advocacy writing to the court), as opposed to the memo (an internal issue analysis) we did earlier, we are allowed to use "slightly more colorful" language in our efforts to persuade.

When you actually get to be a judge, you can use really colorful language:

"A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
but the Vehicle Code does not divorce
its application from, perforce,
a steed as my colleagues said.
"'It's not vague,' I'll say until I'm hoarse,
and whether a car, a truck or horse
this law applies with equal force,
and I'd reverse instead."

-- From Justice Michael Eakin dissent, and adapted from the theme of Mr. Ed for his purposes.

Thanks, Rogue Slayer!

Are you kidding me?!?

.

Lighten up!

Things seem to have gotten awfully serious lately. In some ways, of course, that’s good. But, we should never lose sight of the fact that fun is still a primary element of a fulfilled life (well, in my humble opinion, at any rate).

In that vein and knowing that I have blogged before about some of the serious aspects of being transgendered (you know little things like getting beat to death, or losing your family, friends, and jobs, or having restricted access to health care (and certainly no insurance!)) and that I will blog in the future about such serious issues and others – like the whole big restroom issue – I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a small dose of levity about the whole subject. All of the following anecdotes are true.

I went to my first ever transgender conference as a petrified newbie who wasn’t sure what was what with my whole gender identity and certain that all the negative things aforementioned were going to befall me if it ever came out that I was a closeted “cross-dresser” (as I identified at that time in my life). I lived in Florida, the conference was in Chicago. I went because I just couldn’t imagine 300 “t-people” all in one room and I was anxious to find a community to which I could finally feel like I belonged. I traveled, as you might guess, in total male mode. My ID said male, had a male name, and a male photo. There was NO WAY I was going to go “dressed” to the airport. I got to the airport in Chicago only to discover that they had lost my suitcase that had *everything* in it (wigs, women’s clothing, makeup, etc.). I had to describe the contents of the suitcase to the airline lost and found counter while 20 people crowded around. It may not sound bad now – but I was so mortified back then!

At that same conference I overheard a young girl (maybe 7) ask one of the MTF attendees: “Did you know you are a man?” She looked down at the girl and responded, “Well, I was this morning.”

Grades -- again

I suspect that every fall, with every new starting class, grades and the discussion thereof becomes topical. It is certainly true among my fellow summer class starters.

There is wide divergence about what to say, or not to say, or whether the subject should even be discussed at all (Heidi made a case for the latter earlier this year). Those choices are purely personal. I think, on balance, the less said the better. Still, it's hard to deny how important they are to everyone and there does seem, for most people, to be a lot riding on your grades. But, that's less a function of talking about them then it is simply getting them. And, that is, of course, a function of each individual and his/her own habits. I expressed joy at not getting a C in my earlier post, not because I think that makes me somehow better than someone who did get a C, but because my habits slipped precariously close to the precipice last term. I felt that I had not done my best. Still, I attended (nearly) every class, I listened (mostly) with attention and interest. But, I had not applied myself as I thought I could have, or should have. There were concepts that I didn't think I fully grasped. I would have been, truly, happy with a C. I was pleasantly surprised and I expressed that as a measure of my performance against my standard, not - despite the curve and inherently competitive environment - against my classmates' performance.

An A+ in a class means simply that in that class that person better represented what the instructor was looking for in that moment of time, for that set of facts, under those specific test-taking circumstances. It in no way means that person will get a better job than the person that got a C or that the A+ grade will make that person a better lawyer. So very much of what you make of your life is what YOU make of your life. Someone else's interpretation of your test exam on one particular summer afternoon in your first semester of law school will have little bearing on your long-term happiness or success.

When my eldest daughter and I discussed where she should go to college (she had superior grades in high school, top in her class, offers from all over the country, etc.) I told her that it was completely up to her. I told her that I had never had the wonderful choices that she did, because as a young foolish person, I dropped out of high school. Consequently, my choice of colleges was very limited when I finally decided to pursue a college degree. I attended a small, state-funded school, located in the heart of Denver, called Metropolitan State College. It wasn't Yale, or Harvard, or anywhere near the top schools. But, I managed to parlay that education into a highly successful career, starting at graduation with one of the top accounting firms in the country. It's all about who you are, and what your work ethic is.

You're all really smart people, among the smartest. Don't let grades somehow define you.

Grades

I did NOT get a C in Contracts as I expected. This is a pleasant surprise. My first ever law school grade. Hallelujah!