So, 2004 comes to an end. For me, it's not a year I'm sorry to see pass. The past 12 months have been among the more difficult of my life, and having it capped by this past week seems only fitting. I have not blogged this week for several reasons, but one of them is that I simply don't like to complain too much, and if I'd have been blogging, it wouldn't have been pretty (and we all know how much I'd like to be pretty!).
I had lunch yesterday with a long-time friend (actually someone I had the pleasure of dating once) and she reminded me that the experience of life is generally little more than mere choice of perception. We all experience events, factual circumstances. Then, we fabricate our own little stories about what those events and circumstances mean. One of the tricks to happiness is creating those stories in a way that is positive to our own well-being. That's tough to do sometimes. In this past year, I've created some stories surrounding a couple of events (specifically my daughter telling me that I was no longer welcome in her life and my spouse telling me we were going to get divorced) that have not served my greater good. I told myself that I was a horrible parent and that I didn't deserve to be in love or to be loved.
Well, that's just silly. I'm a good parent. In fact, I'm a great parent. My daughter is suffering from her own issues right now and I have every confidence that she will grow through them and again recognize what she's always known. And, my marriage and this relationship served the purpose that it needed to serve and now it's just time to move on. I'm a sweet and generous and kind, loving person. I am.
So, I choose now to look at the very positive things that have happened for me this year. I began law school -- and completed my first year -- in the school that I really wanted to attend. My mom and Augie are still with me and I had the joy of showing them around Ann Arbor and the law school and spending some quality time with them. In fact, since I've moved, I've spent more time talking with her then I did when we lived only an hour apart! My youngest daughter has been up to visit me twice -- and in fact drove up with me during one trip. I've made many new friends!! I've started TransForUM and I've touched people's lives, even some of whom I've never met.
As wonderful as my life has been, and as good as 2004 was, 2005 is going to totally rock. I am really excited about this year. I'm past my 1L year and can now focus on the type of law that I want to study. I am so excited about this next semester! I will have my 50th birthday in just 2 months and the school has been gracious enough to give the entire school the week off leading up to my birthday (btw, anyone in Ann Arbor on March 5 is invited to a party to help me celebrate). I am taking off the summer to enjoy my own agenda. Can you imagine that? I will be accountable to NO ONE for anything for an entire 4 months. I have never experienced that in my entire life. I hope to travel to both coasts -- I want to visit Massachusetts and California and many places in between.
So, to all of you, I wish a joyous and prosperous New Year and the vision to make it what you want it to be! (is anyone still reading this after my not posting for a week (thanks Transmogriflaw!)?
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!