Life, Law, Gender

Since you've been gone

Sunday, Mother's Day, is the 1 year anniversary of my mother's death.  I still miss her every single day.  Mary and I went to a concert by Cheryl Wheeler at the Ark in Ann Arbor a few weeks back and loved her so much we bought a couple of her albums.  I came across this song on one of them.  I cry every time.  I miss you, Mom.

Since You've Been Gone

Words And Music By

Cheryl Wheeler

A woman my age, sittin’ here cryin’

I oughta be stronger than I am

Oughta take comfort in wisdom or something like that

But it isn’t that way, ‘cause sooner or later

I’m still that nervous 9th grader

Watching you pull us together, I never knew how

 

And since you’ve been gone I’m just fallin’ apart

There’s a hole in my life, in my soul, in my heart

And I stare out this window till light becomes dark

And there’s nothing that’s touching me now

 

But not to complain, we’re just bereft, not deserted

Lord knows your rest was deserved

It’s just your absence is present in all that I do

In the sun in the field, in the poem I keep saying

In the hymn that some church bells were playing

You have always been part of them but I never knew

 

How could I ever begin to say?

Surely you already knew

What is this world with you gone away?

How can this finally be true?

Our elected officials

Perhaps you think this post is about the scandalous Eliot Spitzer.  No.  He is simply another liar and a cheat whose crimes hurt mostly himself and his immediate family.  No, here I speak about the Oklahoma state rep who gave this speech:

What really moved me to write, though, was a letter to this hateful Representative (Representative!) Sally Kern.  h/t: Jami  The letter (below the fold) was written by a graduating high school senior (not gay) who takes exception to the Representative's remark that homosexuals are a bigger threat to the United States than terrorism.  He lost his mother in the OK City bombing.  Read the letter.

Continue reading "Our elected officials"

Do you think I'm in the wrong business?

Stolen from GM at Lobal Warming.  As she said, I'm not in Spitzer's league, however...

Gun Control, the Pink Pistols, and the Supremes

I just came across this WaPo story about a case currently in front of the US Supreme Court.  For the first time in over 70 years the Supremes will decide a case grounded in the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution.

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

It seems like every day we're hearing yet another story about someone killing a group of people -- often relatives or schoolmates -- with a gun.  We truly have an epidemic of violence, gun violence, in this country.  There are people out there who sincerely believe that the way to curb this violence and to protect themselves and their families is to put more guns in the hands of our citizens.

I am not among them.  My limited understanding of the English language and my limited understanding of Constitutional interpretation lead me to believe that the beginning clause, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State," was put there for a reason.  The second clause, "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed" cannot stand alone.  But, I admit that the amendment is ambiguous.  After all who are these "people" whose right to bear arms cannot be infringed upon (possibly members of the well-regulated militia)?

When this debate was a hot topic 40 years ago, the bumper-sticker slogan of the gun nuts was "Guns don't kill, people do".  Yikes.  That kind of thinking scares me.  Guns have the ability to turn a temporary passion into a permanent condition and regret.  If I'd have had a gun in the house at the time, I never would have confronted the fact that I hate knives and I wouldn't be here now to appreciate the beauty that life has to offer.

The Pink Pistols do not speak for me.

With the Supreme Court examining for the first time in 70 years the right to bear arms guaranteed by the Second Amendment, a group of gay and transgender gun owners called the Pink Pistols could not miss out on a chance to tell the justices about its special needs. ...

The Pink Pistols brief, for instance, said that Heller's argument that he has a right to own a gun for self-defense is especially relevant for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people.

"Even in their homes, LGBT individuals are at risk of murder, aggravated assault and other forms of hate violence because of their sexual orientation," the brief states. "In fact, the home is the most common site of anti-gay violence."

Birthday presents

I am the luckiest person I know.  I am going take a small tangent here and elaborate on that. My Girl asserts that she is the luckiest, by virtue of her having found me.  I'll grant you that she's lucky.  However, to resolve this dispute we decided that the people who know us best would be in the best position to say who got the better bargain.  So, we agreed that my mother and my daughters would be the judges (this was a couple of years ago, even before we were married).  She agreed to this!  As I knew they would, they ruled -- after we each presented our cases as to why we thought we were the luckiest -- that I was, in fact, that person.  I assert that it's like binding arbritation and not subject to appeal.  Nevertheless, she continues to protest.  ::sigh:: Have you ever been married to a lawyer?  It can be difficult. LOL!

Anyway, rather than drag you through the whole long story, I'll just tell you that I got to lobby as part of my birthday.  As you can see from my prior post, I was in DC the past couple of days.  I lobbied Congress as part of the Servicemembers' Legal Defense Network's annual Lobby Day for the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  I got assigned to a team of lobbyists that included a recently retired Major General and a retired Command Master Chief Petty Officer. I was the most experienced lobbyist in the group, however, and I really enjoyed myself and I really think we helped nudge the effort forward incrementally.

I spent the first night in a hotel just across the street from the apartment I lived in while I was working for SLDN. Then, I had dinner and spent the night with the Girl's brother and sister-in-law the second night.  What sweet, lovely people they are.  The next day, yesterday, was my birthday and I spent it with a small group of first-time lobbyists. It was a nice birthday present for me to be there.  I had a great time. 

I got home last night early enough for a late dinner and presents opening.  Among my presents were a new digital camera, a brand new Wii, a ten pack of movie DVDs (I love and collect movies), a new Rainbow Law Center shirt, and a new Tigers baseball cap.  On my computer, I got e-cards from my sister and my sweetheart and a dozen or so e-mails or other e-birthday wishes (Facebook is a cool way to remember someone's birthday and jot them a wish). I even got a phone call from my youngest daughter.  All in all, a delightful birthday.

As I said, I'm the luckiest person I know.

Travel Month

March is a travel month for me. 

I fly to Washington, D.C. today to take part in a two-day training and Lobby Day for the Servicemembers' Legal Defense Network in the ongoing effort to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. That means I'll be in DC for the start -- but not the finish of -- my birthday this Friday. That's after we drive up north to Saginaw to attend a hearing for a client this morning.

Next week, I'm a panelist on the subject of Don't Ask, Don't Tell at the American Medical Student's Association national convention in Houston, TX.  I got invited to this panel because a good friend of mine is the LGBT chair for the organization.  To my delight, this will give me the opportunity to have dinner with my dear friend Jami.

Then, beginning on March 17 -- St. Patrick's Day for the Irish among us -- we leave for a 2 week road trip.  It seems this is becoming a March tradition. First stop, St. Louis where we drop off MIL so that she can pack a few more things to bring back.  She's still not ready to shut down her house there and pack everything up.  We think she really likes the idea that she's still got that place to go stay once in a while.

Next stop is in the western part of the Florida panhandle where we'll spend a day with The Girl's dad.  He is an interesting character and has seemingly completely accepted me.  They don't have the best father-daughter relationship I've ever seen.  She tries, but he makes no return effort.  Makes me sad, that.

Then, down to Spring Hill to visit with my step-dad and middle kiddle.  He's lonely and somewhat isolated since my mom died.  We sent him to Daytona for his 80th birthday earlier this year.  He's a huge race fan.  Thankfully, he is still in really excellent health.  We'll spend a couple of days there.  We'll get only one day with my middle kid, Melody.  She's been off work for a couple of months following a car wreck where she was rear-ended while stopped at a stop sign (her 3rd or 4th wreck, all but one of which were where someone hit her).  She just started back to work and is crazy busy playing catch-up (despite her classes being covered by a substitute teacher while she was off).

After that, it's to Orlando for some fun at Sea World and maybe another attraction.  By coincidence a very good friend of ours will be down there (who is, coincidentally, also a school teacher -- in a catholic school, however).  We're going to pick her up in Orlando and go to Lakeland to watch a Tigers spring training game at Joker Marchant stadium.  This will be the 3rd year in a row we've done that and it's always a blast.  I am excited about baseball season starting back up.  Come on Spring!

Then, we turn around and head back to St. Louis to pick MIL back up.  A night or two there and it's back home by March 31.  55 total hours of driving and over 3,000 miles.

April will be here quickly.

As good as cash! (?)

One of the unexpected perks of this new law practice (can you believe it's almost a year old now?), is that people actually appreciate what we do.  Since we began, we lost one case that we believe we should have won but, most of the time, we've been able to accomplish our clients' goals. 

We've drafted agreements (co-parenting, artificial insemination, domestic partnership, etc.), we've defended gay parents' rights to overnight visitation with their kids, we've helped them better protect their families in this hostile state (Wills, Powers of Attorney, guardianship, etc.), and we've represented clients in actions against discriminatory employers.

To our delight, we've received many thank you notes and cards.  The following is an email we recently received and is representative of what people have said.

We would like to personally thank you and Mary for doing the work that you do.  For over a year, [my partner] and I have tried to find a lawyer who understood our needs. Our search was fruitless and we were left feeling very confused and rather defeated by the legal world.  I just can't explain how great we felt leaving your office. Protecting our family [is] more important to us than anything else.  Your work is helping us find piece [sic] of mind.  Thank you for that.

We like to get paid, don't get me wrong.  But this type of payment is almost as important to me.  This is the type of psychic reward that motivates us to go the extra mile.

Celebration of Life

We had Theresa's "celebration of life" yesterday.  I was simultaneously moved and annoyed by it.  There were two groups of people there -- her blood relatives and her lesbian community of friends.  I would guess that there was about an even split between the two, maybe 20-25 in each camp, making the total attendance somewhere between 40 and 50.  Theresa's brother, her ex-husband, and her two children dominated the service.  Only an occasional nod was made to her partner.

I very much wished to bridge the gap between the two camps and let the blood relatives know that we all, in the lesbian crowd of friends, considered her family also.

We often use the word "family" when we describe other LGBT people.  I really don't know how that practice originated, but I suspect it had something to do with the harsh reality that many of us are shunned by our birth families, or worse.  So, when we find another soul, or group of souls, that accepts who we are unconditionally -- as a family surely must -- we provide that cherished appellation. 

Spouses are, by dint of law, family.  The fact that Theresa and her partner were together for 10 years meant nothing.  Because, despite our best (?) efforts, Theresa had no will her partner stands to inherit exactly nothing from her estate.  She is a legal stranger.  And yet, in every practical way that matters, Theresa was her closest family.

I have only known Theresa as long as I've known my Girl, but I feel as if I've lost a member of my family. 

I promise -- this is my last maudlin post for a while!

Goodbye, Dear Theresa

And just like that, she's gone.   I miss her already.  Monday is the memorial service.  Now, we have to care for her partner.  How do you console someone who's just lost her life partner?Life is too damn short.

To kill a Trannie - Part II

As if I weren't already sick of death.

The week before Creating Change here in Detroit one of our local television stations reported the murder of a "Cross-dressing prostitute", with a subtitle of "Man dressed as a woman found dead".  The editor and I exchanged emails about the titling with her expressing her desire to be sensitive to our community.

Then, last week, the murder of 8th grader Lawrence King, 15, in Oxnard, CA was widely reported.  In case you've been under a rock, this is about a young person being killed in his classroom at middle school because he was openly gay and wore "women's" clothing, makeup and accessories to school.

Today, I read about the shooting death of 17 year old Simmie Williams in Florida. 

Perhaps, given this current spate of violence and death, I can be forgiven for my little rant over at Lobal Warming when I saw this post.  I hate being politically correct; I think it's important that we have a sense of humor about ourselves.  I guess today just isn't the day for a sense of humor for me.  My earlier post about the Ann Coulter bitch can be found here (Yes, GM, I'd like to disassociate her from UM also!)

I am so tired of death

Most of you know me as a very optimistic person.  I laugh easily and often; I love life.  But, for what seems like an eternity now I have thought about death and what's on the other side of it.  I am certain that it all started with the death of my (step) father-in-law just over a year ago.  Following that, of course, was the death of my beloved mother last May.  Last October 8 (the date of her death) and this past January 17 (the day of her birth) we paused to remember and reflect upon the life and death of my Girl's previous partner. A couple of days ago my friend Jami posted an entry that discussed, in part, suicide.  A friend from law school  posted just yesterday a tribute to one of her mentors who passed away this week, before her time (no link because it is on a private blog).  And now, this.

We got the call last night.  A very dear friend of ours likely will not survive the weekend.  Just two weeks ago she and her partner stayed with us for a couple of days and we all enjoyed a movie and dinner together and excellent conversation (in an odd coincidence the partner was a former partner of my Girl's now-deceased ex).  A few days later, complaining of pain in her abdomen, they took her her to the doctor.  Long story short, she was ultimately diagnosed with metastatic ovarian cancer.  This past Saturday (one week ago today) she was admitted to the hospital for further tests.  Suddenly, her organs began to shut down, fluid began to build in her body and she lost lucidity.

I want very much to believe in life after death.  I want to believe that I'll meet my family and friends in an afterlife.  I want very much to believe in a god so that I can alternately pray to him/her and curse him/her for taking people from our lives before their time.  So, if you do believe, would you be my stand-in and pray for Theresa and her family for me?  I love you, Theresa.  I am grateful that you will not suffer long.  Thank you for being in my life.

Gay and Married -- in New York

Jami posted a question in comments about a ruling from New York state's highest court that said (unanimously) that the state must recognize marriages between same-sex couples performed in jurisdictions -- specifically Canada -- where it's legal.  She referenced this article on the ACLU's website.  She asked me what I thought of the ruling; I'll try and give a summary of my thoughts.

First, I want to be clear that marriage is not the be-all, end-all with respect to gay civil rights, in my book.  Frankly, I think marriage as an institution carries too much power in our culture and I don't think it's fair or reasonable basis upon which to allocate benefits, privileges and obligations.  That said, I chose to get married (also in Canada) and I completely believe that allowing some couples to marry and not others is invidious discrimination and needs to be stopped.

I think, therefore, that it probably goes without saying that I think the ruling itself is correct and overdue (Download new_york_ruling_on_canadian_marriage.pdf).

Essentially, the court said that just because a marriage wouldn't be valid if solemnized in New York didn't stop the state from recognizing it if it were valid where performed.  It cited several instances where such marriages had been recognized in the state's history (including a marriage between an uncle and a niece, performed in another US state (not able to be performed in New York because of statutes regarding consanguinity) and a marriage between an opposite sex couple that were under 18 when legally married in Canada (not able to be performed in New York because of statutes proscribing the legal age to marry as 18 or over)).

The court gave two reasons under which it could have found the marriage between same-sex couples invalid - a statute explicitly prohibiting recognition of such marriages (what the court called "positive law") or if such marriages are prohibited by something called "natural law".   The defendants in the case argued that the marriage should be prohibited as against the strong public policy of the State of New York.   It is the court's treatment of the last two issues that interest me the most.

First, the court gave short shrift to the idea of same sex marriages being against the "natural law".  It noted that in order to prohibited under this rubric, a marriage would need to be "offensive to the public sense of morality to a degree regarded generally with abhorrence" and simply stated that such a case "cannot be said here", limiting that exception instead primarily to incest or polygamy.  Personally, from a cultural standpoint, I think this is huge.  It is not that long ago that it would have been this ground upon which a ruling against this couple would have been issued.

Second, the court noted that New York "unlike the overwhelming majority of states" had not enacted a mini-DOMA (legislation denying full faith and credit to same-sex marriages validly solemnized in another state).  This, stating the obvious, is the part of the ruling that goes to whether or not this decision in one state can be duplicated in another.  It is not the mere enactment of a mini-DOMA upon which a state can rely to deny equal recognition to otherwise valid marriages, such as this one, but it is strong evidence that a state can rely upon to prove its claim that such recognition would be violative of the state's public policy.  If a state's population feels so strongly that it should deny these rights to a class of people that its elected legislature passes such a law (or, worse, a constitutional amendment) a court will almost certainly view that as dispositive.  UNLESS, a plaintiff can win her case by striking down such a law as a violation of the US constitution.  Therein lies the hope that this ruling in New York could eventually spread to those states whose populace have enacted such hateful and discriminatory law.  And, for those states that have not enacted such law, citing to this case in New York, while not providing any binding precedent, can only be helpful.

Way to go, New York! 

Does that answer your question about what I think, Jami?  And, y'all should check out Jami's post regarding civil unions. No, they are NOT marriage. 

To kill a Trannie

This article showed up in my inbox; I'm afraid I don't know where it was originally published, so I don't have a link:

How to kill a transperson
February 15th, 2008
By Ceridwen Troy

On Saturday, Sanesha Stewart, a transwoman of color living in the Bronx, was murdered in her own apartment. She was 25 years old. Her accused killer, Steve McMillan, had known her for months, yet when he was arrested, he claimed to have been enraged to find out that she was what the media coverage called not really a woman. He stabbed her over and over again in the chest and throat. She tried to fight him off; there were defensive wounds found on her hands.

On Tuesday, eighth-grader Lawrence King was in a classroom in Oxnard, Calif. He was openly gay, and often came to school in gender-bending clothing, makeup, jewelry and shoes. According to another student, it was freaking the guys out. One of them shot Lawrence in the head. He was declared brain-dead on Wednesday.

It is easy to look at cases like this and think, how tragic. How random. How senseless.

But then, you forget how easy it is to kill a transgender person.

You forget that all across this nation, faith leaders of all stripes, men and women who claim to speak for God Himself, call us sinners, call us abominations, call us evil.

You forget that at best the media depicts us as something to be pitied, something that our families must be strong and overcome. At worst, they depict us as abnormal, exploiting our bodies for ratings, exploiting the publics fear of us for shock value.

You forget that on a good day, law enforcement agents are neglectful of us, and that far more frequently they join in our harassment. You forget the transwomen of color who are rounded up on suspicions of prostitution. You forget the beatings that go uninvestigated. You forget the molestation and rape we face when we are arrested.

You forget the medical establishment that drains our wallets for the therapy and hormones and surgeries they tell us we need. You forget the way we are then refused treatment when we are dying, dying of treatable diseases, dying of easily patched wounds.

You forget that, by the law of the land, it is legal in the majority of states to deny us employment, to deny us service, to deny us housing.

You forget the shelters and the rape crisis centers that will not allow us through their doors.

You forget that many of us do not even have family to turn to when we are at our most desperate.

You forget that the leaders of our own community have told us that it is not time for us to have rights, that it is not pragmatic for us to be considered worthy of the same respect as other human beings.

You forget that in our own circles, it is considered a negative thing to be too flamboyant. You forget the way our pride parades have been derided by our own community. You forget the scorn heaped upon drag queens by other gay men. You forget the fear to be seen in public with a friend who is considered too open, too queer.

You forget the way it seeps into the minds of transgender people, too. You forget the way a transsexual will shout that she is not a cross dresser, as if there were something wrong with that. You forget the catty names we call each other if we don't pass". You forget how many of us take our own lives every year.

You forget because the noise is always there, a constant drone in the background. Every newspaper piece that calls a trans woman he instead of she. Every talk show host who spends an hour talking about our genitals. Every childish taunt about looking like a tranny. Every trans person who talks about themselves as true transsexuals. Every activist and politician who tells us now is not the time.

You forget too, how easy it is to kill a person of color, with myths about gangstas and lies about immigrants. You forget how easy it is to kill a person living in poverty, cutting off her welfare because she is supposedly being paid to breed. You forget how easy it is to kill a sex worker, with sex-shaming language, slinging about slurs like hooker and whore.

You forget the message hidden inside every single one of those statements.

You are less than I am. You are not worthy of the rights and respect that I am worthy of.

You are not human.

It is very easy to kill something that you do not see as human.

It is very easy to kill a trans person.

Creating Change and the City of Detroit

As my Girl and I prepare to attend the 20th anniversary of Creating Change to be held in Detroit this week, it is with great excitement that we read the following announcement from Triangle Foundation (full disclosure, I was just named to Triangle Foundation's Board of Trustees).

As an aside, it is amazing to me how many of our lesbian friends, and clients, have never heard of Creating Change.  Admittedly, I only asked 3 couples but not one of those six women had heard of it.  Is it the middle-age demographic?  This will be my third one and I'm quite excited.  Last night, we went to The Ark in Ann Arbor and watched Kate Clinton. Damn, she's good.

Detroit City Council Welcomes Creating Change,
Supports Transgender Rights

On February 5, the Detroit City Council passed a two-part resolution opposing discrimination against transgender individuals and welcoming the National Conference on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Equality, Creating Change. Creating Change is bringing more than 2,000 LGBT and allied activists to the Renaissance Center Feb. 6-10.

Triangle Foundation, the state's leading anti-violence and advocacy organization, and the ACLU of Michigan's LGBT Project, have worked closely with City Council to include gender identity and expression in the city's anti-discrimination ordinances.

"I can't think of a better time for City Council to pass this resolution than the eve of Creating Change," said Sean Kosofsky, director of policy for Triangle. "We will continue working with the ACLU to help Council translate this resolution into an ordinance that will protect Detroit's transgender residents, workers and visitors - like the ones coming this week for Creating Change."

“We applaud the City Council’s passage of a resolution welcoming the Creative Change Conference and its statement that it opposes gender identity or expression discrimination," said Jay Kaplan, staff attorney for the LGBT Project. "When it passed its human rights ordinance prohibiting sexual orientation discrimination in 1978, the City of Detroit demonstrated that it was a leader among major United States cities in its commitment to diversity and equal opportunity. It’s only appropriate that 30 years later, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force has chosen the City of Detroit as its host for the Creating Change Conference,  where LGBT activists and allies from around the country will convene to work towards full equality and opportunity for LGBT people."

Happy -- Holidays, Christmas, New Year, Anniversary!

Warning: Long, catch-up post follows...

Nope...not dead.  I apologize to anyone who has been checking my blog only to find it not updated for these past 3 weeks.  It's just that life has been crazy busy -- in a good way -- and I decided that when I began blogging again I wouldn't let it make me feel guilty if I went extended periods of time without updating.  So, with no guilty feelings to motivate me, I've just been loving life.  But, now I want to share all that's been going on with you (OK, well, at least some of it)!

First, Happy Holidays to everyone.  This is a time of year that I've always loved.  Raised a Christian, I have always celebrated Christmas.  A long time ago, I gave up on the idea of JC as being the only begotten son of God and then not too long ago I acknowledged that I didn't even buy the whole "single god" theory.  Still, I celebrate Christmas.  Which is to say I (we) put up a tree (a real one for the past 3 years), exchange presents, overeat, watch sports on television and generally enjoy quiet family time.   After that, of course, comes the New Year. No major celebrations here.  We're not unlike this reporter.  And, of course, for those of you who are Christians, Merry Christmas! As a side note to this whole religion thing -- you might find it amusing that I now attend an Episcopal church service every Sunday.  My MIL is Episcopalian and we take her (and then go out to brunch afterward). 

Our trip to Sint Maarten was fabulous!  You'll just have to take my word that this picture is of me (trying to take a photo underwater -- none of which turned out wonderfully, I must add).  The other picture is a photo of the   resort where we stayed while we were down there.  It was really lovely trip; it started off with a stop in South Carolina to visit MIL's younger sister who has heart problems.  It was wonderful to see the two of them together; it's clear that they share a loving sister bond.  They hadn't seen each other is several years, given everyone's health and we were so thrilled to be able to make this happen.  The resort was nice, the people were friendly and the weather was amazing.  Of course, the fact that we left just as a blizzard descended upon the Detroit area may have colored our appreciation of the 80 degree temps and clear skies a bit... Do we look like a couple of drowned rats in this final photo?  As always, you can click on the photos to enlarge them (and thereby see my new bathing suit, which is *much* cuter on the model than it is on me...).

When we returned home (1 AM this past Saturday before Christmas), we put things into high gear for our Christmas preparations.  As my Girl said: "It [was] cruch time for elves".  Indeed. We got holiday cards out late (apologies if you didn't get one -- it was not an intentional slight) and then only to immediate family, darn it.  We scurried around trying to do Christmas shopping for each other, and we put up a tree.  Now the tree is a bit of a story (I will post a photo of it as soon as I can).  Remember last year?  Well, in case you don't suffice it to say that we put up a large, 10 foot tree and it fell over in the middle of the night, causing us to have to completely re-decorate it.  This year, we thought, "you know, we have these beautiful high vaulted ceilings; we really should put in a tree that fits the room."  (Note to self: Mistake.  Do not repeat this mistake next year.)  Trees look larger indoors than they do out-of-doors, especially when they're in a tree farm surrounded by other large trees.  We honestly did not realize that we would have to cut off a foot of the top of the tree in order to have it fit in our 13 foot high ceiling (the low part -- where the vault meets the wall).  We also did not realize that the base was likely the culprit in our tree mishap last year, and probably not our poor wrongly-accused pussycat, Buster.  Without dragging you through all the agonizing details, let me just say that 1,600 lights, 6 nails in the wall, and three fishing line supports anchored thereto later we finally quit with the tree at 2:30 AM the day before Christmas.

Christmas day itself was great, as it almost always is.  The only downer part of it for me was the missing of my mom.  I spent last Christmas Day with her in the hospital.  I think I knew then that she wouldn't live to see this Christmas.  I'd give anything for another conversation with her.  And funny thing is...there's nothing I could say to her that I didn't say while she was living.  I just miss the conversation.  ::sigh::

Although Christmas is never all about the gift-getting for me (though it is often about the gift-giving), I would be lying if I didn't admit to being absolutely thrilled to get a new PDA for Christmas from my sweetheart.  She got me this HP IPAQ pocket PC.  My PDA (an old Palm Pilot which I lived by) died earlier this year and I've been lost without it. 

This brings us to today.  Today is my Girl's and my 2nd wedding anniversary.  How did I ever get so lucky as to find a woman who loves me as much as she does?  I must have been very, very good in a former life.  We agreed to not exchange gifts on our anniversary, but instead to simply celebrate it each year (part of which involves watching the tape of our actual wedding day...).  Still, I can never let this day go by without giving her cards and flowers.  It's just not in my nature.  I sent her this bouquet.

Finally, please accept from me my sincere wish for a peaceful, loving 2008 to all of you.